26 Jan No One Criticizes People They Perceive Beneath Them

What is the best antidote against fault-finders? How do you stay calm amidst unfair criticisms?

Over a decade ago, I was mentoring an upcoming leader. One day, he was miserable and spent 90% of our time together whining about how he had been recently attacked by some people unjustly and unfairly.

After listening and asking questions to get the full picture and the merits of the criticisms, I determined that they were indeed unfair attacks and helped him overcome them.

Do you know what made him stop complaining from that day on?

I casually mentioned, “People don’t criticize those they think are beneath them.”

Since then, whenever we meet or chat over the phone, he brings this up and recounts how this simple truth liberated him.

If you have been criticized unfairly, look back and scrutinize who those fault-finders were. You’ll find out that these were people who, at least unconsciously, believed that you were ‘above’ them.

Otherwise, no one criticizes, at least publicly, people they perceive BENEATH them…

That said, however, not all people who point out your mistakes, weaknesses, and stumbling are jealous people who, consciously or unconsciously, believe that they are uplifting their status by tearing you down.

You have to discern where the criticism is coming from. Before opening your heart and getting hurt, determine which ones to ignore and which ones to take seriously. Here are the characteristics of genuine critics:

1. They’ve a balanced view of you. As much as they pinpoint your weaknesses and what may not be working well, they also acknowledge your strengths and what is working. They don’t completely demonize you.

2. They don’t immediately escalate. They first give you feedback privately. Unless you ignore them, they don’t bring them up publicly.

3. They’ve the right motive. Their intention is to help you become better, not after feeding their own sick ego.

As far as you’re ALIVE, making PROGRESS, and SUCCEEDING, you’ll be scrutinized, if not now, in the future. Get READY for it! IMMUNIZE yourself ahead…

When (not if) you become a target of pathological fault-finders, don’t panic! You’re advancing.

In my native country, Ethiopia, there is a popular prayer, “ABETU GETAYE HOY, MEKEGNA ATASATAGN!” Its English translation: “Oh God, Don’t Deny Me of Enemies!”

If you’ve nothing or no one, who cares? You only attract the attention of your ‘’enemies’ if and only if you have something or do something worth attention.

Who cares about deadbeat individuals who checked out…

If some people are dishing out criticism against you, ask: Are these genuine critics, or are they seeking attention by attacking you since they can’t get it by themselves?

If they are the latter, IGNORE them. Don’t go toe to toe… Don’t LOWER yourself to their level… KEEP staying where you’re…

How have you been handling such thorns on your side? How did it go? What helped you survive and outlast such unjust and unfair attacks?