03 Jan How To Deal With Our Atmost Fears (Based on my recent relocation experience)
We all have certain things we hate passionately, resent, and even FEAR to death. That is called being human. No one is exempt! My fear may not be yours, and vice versa. Moving is one of those things for me…
I hate moving around furniture, let alone completely uprooting myself from one location and moving to a totally new place.
Of course, over the years, I’ve made some minor and a few BIG moves. One of the more significant moves was enrolling at Addis Ababa University and leaving my hometown, Harar, to the capital city, Addis Ababa.
The BIGGEST and BADDEST move of all moves was when I left my native nation, Ethiopia, in 2005 to my current home country, the US. Word can’t fully capture the FEAR, anxiety, frustration, and anger I experienced BEFORE, DURING, and immediately AFTER the move.
Following my relocation from Ethiopia to the US in March or April 2005, the next on the list was my recent move from Germantown, MD, to Tampa, Florida.
As someone born and raised in tropical weather, I passionately hate cold (are you tracking the things I hate? :-). But I hate moving more than cold. Thus, I never moved out of DMV to a warmer place.
A quick disclaimer: I don’t hate the DMV area! As an Ethiopian American, there are many advantages to living in that metro area. As you may already know, DMV hosts the largest concentration of Ethiopian immigrants in the US. Besides, I have dear friends, colleagues, and clients in the area. I’ll be traveling back and forth between FL and DMV. Don’t worry. I kept a few jackets, sweaters, and gloves for those winter trips to the DMV metro area 🙂
Here is what you have to understand: Every winter since 2006 (almost 20 years), I have been vowing to relocate to a warmer location. Once a particular winter is gone, however, I put my plan to move on the back burner.
In 2024, nonetheless, I determined to beat this FEAR and move out of the DMV area before the year ends.
It was a year-long project, though. I know some of you may make such a move with a moment’s notice and without fussing about it the way I do. Good for you; Lucky you.
While hesitating, grumbling, and resenting throughout the year, I made some bold decisions in preparation to relocate. Unlike in the past, I made sure to pull the trigger and make some irreversible decisions so that I wouldn’t back out at the 11th hour using some lame excuses.
Believe me. There were some serious temptations to remain in the area. For instance, a prospective client approached me saying “…since you’re in the DMV area, we would like you to deliver our soft skills and leadership programs starting 2025…”
I walked away from this golden opportunity because I had already made some irreversible decisions.
But my resolve and conviction were seriously challenged when Tampa was hit by two consecutive devastating hurricanes, Helene and Milton.
It had been over a hundred years since Tampa Bay was directly hit by a major hurricane- October 25, 1921.
Following these two natural disasters, the people who knew my relocation plan advised me to scrap the plan or at least relocate somewhere warmer.
The problem for me was that if I canceled all arrangements and bowed out this time, I may never relocate again, or it may, at least, take me years to regroup and do it again. I must BEAT this FEAR before the New Year, I argued… I was in a “Now or Never” state of mind…
To make the long story short, I packed and left the DMV area just days before the New Year. As you can imagine, it was stressful, to say the least.
It seems a universal truth: When we deal with things we hate and resent, things don’t go as planned. We experience so many setbacks.I won’t bore you with the bumps I experienced on the road.
What is important to know is that I finally defeated one of the things that scared me to death, a ghost that imprisoned me for years.
What is one thing you had feared the most but did beat recently? How did it feel?
Even if I can’t hear you right now, I can imagine the triumph you experienced as a result of winning that battle you had postponed for so long.
The moral of the story is that we all have certain things we fear. We all have things we hate and resent.
However, if we muster some strength and face them boldly while still fearful and uncomfortable, they can’t stand on our way, they melt down…
The antidote for fear is ‘Fear Not’!
Here is a good news. Once we beat a fear in a particular area that has been harassing us, we may not eagerly look forward to it. We may not enjoy it when we have to face it again. But, we’re now immunized!
We overridden a part of our brain and created a new neural pathway. Because of that, going forward, we may not stress out the way we used to; it won’t take us forever to act too… We have overcome it; we crossed over…
What is at the top of your list of things you passionately hate, fear, and resent that followed you to the New Year? When will you finally face it? This year?
The exact time doesn’t matter. Whether you do it sooner or later, whenever you pull the trigger, know that, you will be the winner. It is a done deal. We can overcome anything for which we develop conviction and resolve!
Happy New Year, and let this year be the one you beat many of the things that scare you!